Wednesday, December 30, 2009

I now understand Bridezillas

So you know how some people say, "Ohmygosh I had SO much fun being engaged and planning my wedding!" Well, I'm pretty sure all those people had wedding planners or coordinators. Otherwise, they're crazy. This is the most stressed out I've been in a while. What's our wedding budget? Who do we invite? Where are we having it? Who are we going to get to officiate? Is the reception going to be dinner or buffet? Who are we going to get to cater? What are our wedding colors? Who's going to be part of our bridal party? Where are our out-of-town guests going to stay? Where will we go on our honeymoon? Who's going to be our photographer? Who's going to make our cake? Who's going to be the videographer? Will the wedding be paid bar, dry, or B.Y.O.B.? And the question that immediately comes after every single one of those other questions: Can we afford it? Other thoughts we've had: Crap, we need to join a gym so we can look sexy by the wedding. We need to whiten our teeth.
I've noticed - in my wedding research - that the more expensive and big everything is, the higher the wedding is rated. 1,000 guests and a $50,000 budget = super great wedding. According to bridal magazines and websites. And the word that I most often see is "lavish". Lavish proposal. Lavish wedding. Lavish reception. Lavish bridal shower. Lavish bachelorette party. Lavish wedding dress. If it's lavish it's considered good. Well, James and I have never been especially lavish people. Right now we want to have our wedding in the back yard of James' parents house in Kanab, with the reception in this natural ampitheatre where I first lived in Kanab. We'll probably end up only having about 100 guests and have it catered locally. Not lavish, but very meaningful. Just like the proposal wasn't especially lavish. No rose petals everywhere, no horseback riding on the beach. But it was very meaningful. And I'd rather have a wedding/reception that is intimate and meaningful so that we can save our money for a - say it with me - LAVISH honeymoon.
Now that we have an almost-for-sure date set and an almost-for-sure wedding and reception site, I am much happier. That was the only thing that needed to be decided immediately, just so I could book the sites and tell everyone that lives out of town. I have yet to send out an official "save the date" but hopefully that'll be coming soon. So now that I don't have to worry about being lavish I can just concentrate on being genuine. And that is much less stressful.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

I couldn't agree with you more. Do what matter to you guys, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of it. The best wedding I've ever been to was also the simplest.

The story behind that one is that my friend had a baby girl in a previous relationship a few years prior and his ex wouldn't let her be a part of the wedding. They argued for weeks about it. Finally one day in a huff she said to him "fine, she can be your flower girl but only if you have the wedding this weekend". It was Wednesday. He decided that having her in his wedding was more important than anything else, so he planned the wedding and got married in his living room with a justice of the peace.

I think that's so much better than worrying about being lavish, and I know that their relationship will last forever because his fiance was totally on board with it because she knew how much it meant to him. They planned their wedding in three days.

--Paula.

yemj said...

That's such a cool story, Paula! Yeah I never really realized how much input everybody else gives you for how you should get married lol. But I just think that the more chill it is, the more fun it will be :)